


you're the light at the end of the road.

by redhoods



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Future Fic, M/M, Married Life, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 07:33:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19848484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redhoods/pseuds/redhoods
Summary: He twists his ring once around his finger, then sits up, deciding to investigate where Fjord has gotten off to so early. Dressing feels like too much effort, so he wraps himself in the sheet, dragging it behind him on the wood floors as he leaves the room. He needn’t go far though.Across from the door to the bedroom, in the open doorway of the cabin, stands Fjord, silhouetted against the sunrise.





	you're the light at the end of the road.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [losebetter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/losebetter/gifts).



> hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. have this.
> 
> grey asked for trans fjord and caleb kissing his scars. and kann posted [this](https://twitter.com/stillisee/status/1149167253990121472?s=20). and... i don't know what happened.
> 
> title from there's a light by seafret.

When Caleb wakes, it’s because there’s light filtering into the room, slicing over the bed in wide swathes. He stretches his arm over the sheets and finds the other side of the bed empty, though still warm. He hums into the quiet of the room and stretches the rest of his body, back arching, digging his toes into the blankets.

He thinks of calling out, but knows Fjord wouldn’t have gone, not that there was far to go from the cabin.

It’s still fairly early though, for how late they’d been up the previous night, and he touches his neck, the hollow of his throat, lower over his heart, finds rings of bruises in each spot and thumbs over them with a quiet sigh towards the ceiling.

He twists his ring once around his finger, then sits up, deciding to investigate where Fjord has gotten off to so early. Dressing feels like too much effort, so he wraps himself in the sheet, dragging it behind him on the wood floors as he leaves the room. He needn’t go far though.

Across from the door to the bedroom, in the open doorway of the cabin, stands Fjord, silhouetted against the sunrise.

He looks impossibly broader like this, shoulders taking up the frame, back cast in dark shadows. The bits of green not in shadow stand out brighter, vibrant in the light of the sun, and he’s the most handsome person Caleb’s ever met, no contest.

Fjord’s head turns and Caleb thinks he’s been caught out, but nothing happens, so he takes in Fjord’s profile, the powerful line of his jaw, the slightly crooked bridge of his nose, his tusks now visible even at this angle. 

_Fuck it,_ he thinks, lets the sheets drape looser around his arms, “Hey, handsome, come here often?” He calls and watches the way Fjord’s shoulders jerk in surprise before he turns more.

Though he doesn’t turn all the way, just so that his spine is pressed against the frame, the sunlight still spilling across his face, his hips cocked away from the frame just so. He’s put his trousers on, but the laces aren’t done up and there doesn’t seem to be anything under them. He presents a picture that makes Caleb’s mouth run dry and Caleb doesn’t even think he knows it.

“Did I wake you?” Fjord asks, golden eyes reflecting golden sunlight.

Caleb shakes his head and closes the distance, “Wouldn’t matter if you did,” he answers, stepping in close.

Fjord opens to him immediately, circling arms around his waist, pulling him in, a kiss smudged to the crown of his head as he fits himself under Fjord’s chin. They fit well together this way, like many other ways.

“It’s beautiful out,” he says, cheek to Fjord’s collarbone, staring out the cabin door. He sees what had Fjord so enraptured now, the sun rising over the distant ocean, the dunes and marsh grasses catching the golden light. There’s a gentle breeze blowing through and he’s glad of the sheet and the burning warmth of Fjord’s body.

There’s no verbal response, just a rumble under his cheek that he takes as Fjord’s agreement.

He’s still adjusting to this, this quiet Fjord, so calm and at ease in the mornings. Nightmares of the magical sort are a thing of the past now and he’s gotten to see the weight lift off of Fjord’s shoulders with each passing day, with each night that comes and goes with no word from sea serpents.

Most of Fjord’s dreams now, he says, are the calm of the ocean.

One of Fjord’s hands finds it way under the sheets and Caleb hums, arcs into the sturdy palm that drags down his back, nudges a kiss against Fjord’s collarbone.

“I dreamt about this once,” Fjord’s voice is hushed, like he’s afraid of shattering the calm and Caleb tips his head, rests his chin against Fjord’s chest. The angle is strange, most of his vision is Fjord’s jaw and tusk like this, but he cares not at all.

“About what?” Caleb’s curious about a great many things, but none so much as Fjord these days.

Fjord doesn’t answer right away, his thumb dragging in distracting circles against the small of his back, the points of claws gently pressing to his hip. It’s okay though, they have time here and now, as much time as they’d like. There is nothing looming over them, no need to hurry or rush, and that’s a novel feeling that Caleb intends to relish in.

Freedom tastes like sea water and summer wine and honey.

It’s been hard won, tooth and claw and nail and tusk and blood, but worth it, Caleb thinks, worth everything he’s lost, everything he’s given, for all that he’s gained.

Against him, Fjord breathes in, then out, heavy, chest rising and falling like swelling tides, carrying Caleb with him, “This, you and I, the sea,” he says. His thumbs stop moving and he turns his gaze, gold eyes lit up by the sun, striking and ethereal, “Never thought we’d survive this far.”

Caleb hums, thinks of all the close calls and near misses, discards them away, to the recesses of his mind.

Thinks of better things instead.

The discharge of magic, release of a spell, a familiar yet not halfling woman staring at him.

A lightning strike, blue and violet eyes staring through the pouring rain, a sword falling from lax fingers to the dirt.

Red eyes flying open, mud and dirt flaking to the ground, a pale lavender chest expanding with a sudden breath.

Trading rings under a tree heavy with flowers, more flowers blooming around them in the wake of their exchange.

“We did though,” he muffles the words into Fjord’s skin, drags his lips and scruff over Fjord’s collarbone and shoulder, “We made it, we’re alive, our family is alive.”

Fjord’s hand flexes against his hip, briefly digging in before he relaxes again, “I know.” Caleb understands though, the quiet moments of disbelief that crop up, the feeling that this can’t be real. They’ve all had them, handled them in different ways. He knows that Fjord’s way is quiet introspection.

Time has made him quiet. Not subdued, not withdrawn, but quiet in his own certainty, his own acceptance of himself.

He thinks of watching Fjord’s struggle, his battle to save himself. The time he’d been the most afraid, more than he’d ever been afraid of Ikithon finding him, the way that Fjord had sank below the depths of the water, dragged down on a shout.

Jester and Yasha had held him back, Beau had even stolen his book in his frenzy to try and get to him.

He’d worn himself out, shout himself hoarse, before Fjord had ever surfaced.

An amber hunk of crystal in one hand and falchion in the other, walking out of the water. He’d left blooms in his wake, flowers that had bobbed to the surface and floated out on the tide. No one had been able to hold him back then, he’d flung himself at Fjord, clung to him, dragged them both to their knees in the shallow water.

“You still with me?” Fjord’s face is faintly amused when Caleb blinks.

“Ja,” Caleb says, thinks there’s nowhere else he’d rather be, and pushes up on his toes to kiss Fjord.

The hand on his back flexes.

Fjord’s free hand cups his jaw, thumb against the hinge, and the kiss turns slick and warm.

They part on a mutual exhale and Caleb presses his temple to Fjord’s cheek, still arched up on his toes, body blanketed against Fjord’s front. He skates his palms up Fjord’s sides, gently digs in at his ribs to hear the soft chuff of laughter, then higher. Under his hands, Fjord is hot like burning coals.

Caleb kisses his jaw, then rocks back onto his heels, only opening a small pocket of space between them. It’s a good sight, Fjord loose and lax against the frame of the door, cheeks ruddy, and Caleb knows he should pull him inside, shut the door, maybe get some breakfast in him before they decide what to do with their day.

He doesn’t though.

The gap disappears as he pushes in closer again, planting his lips to the center of Fjord’s chest. “Handsome,” he says there, lets himself be rocked with Fjord’s shuddering breath. He forgets for just an instant, the sheet slipping from where it was tucked, and the fabric pools around his feet.

“It’s a good thing no one’s around for miles,” Fjord rumbles above him and a broad palm slides down, cups his backside.

“Is that a hint? Should we move?” He asks, dragging his mouth over skin, tasting salt and skin.

Fjord exhales noisily above him, “Frame is digging into my back,” he admits.

Caleb hums and pulls back, catching his hands around Fjord’s wrists and pulling him away from the door, “Let’s remedy that,” he steps over the sheets and draws Fjord into the cabin, right back the way he came to the bedroom.

“I was going to bring you breakfast in bed,” Fjord tells him, letting himself be knocked back onto the bed, limbs sprawling out every which way, ungainly. He shoves himself up towards the pillows, bunches one under his head so he can watch Caleb, who has halted at the end of the bed, head tilted in thought, “Cay?”

“Ja?” Caleb knees up onto the bed, though he stays down by Fjord’s feet, “I was thinking of breakfast in bed,” he admits, eyes dragging over Fjord’s body.

Fjord distinctly feels like prey, like Caleb is contemplating the best way to devour him whole, and squirms under the heat of that gaze. It’s not the first time he’s been on the receiving end of that look, won’t be the last time, but it still takes him off guard.

The bed shifts and dips with Caleb’s weight and he moves up Fjord’s body, settles astride his hips, cupping his palms over Fjord’s ribs, feeling the expansion of every inhale, “How are you feeling?”

It’s a loaded, pointed question and Caleb doesn’t take his eyes off Fjord’s face now, watching his shifting expression as the half orc considers how he’s feeling, what he’s okay with, what he’s not up for. There’s never going to be a point where Caleb doesn’t check in, doesn’t ask. It’s part of their routine now.

“Can we--” Fjord clears his throat, brings his hand up to cup Caleb’s jaw, slide it down to press against Caleb’s chest, “Can we just cuddle?”

Caleb smiles, digging his thumbs just a little bit, “Of course, liebling,” he answers and bends forward, smudging gentle kisses over Fjord’s skin, punctuated by the light scruff of his beard. There’s no expectation to them, only simple passes of Caleb’s lips over skin.

When he flicks his eyes up, Fjord’s gaze is so heavy lidded that he’s not even sure if Fjord can see anything at all any longer. He smiles, “Rest,” he encourages, passing his hands up higher, thumbs rubbing over Fjord’s scars, then higher. Then brings them back down, hides his smile against Fjord’s collarbone when the tell tale rumbles of a purr begin.

It comes easier these days, now that Fjord’s settled into himself, realized that Caleb isn’t going anywhere. The battle has been hard fought, against Fjord’s insecurities and uncertainties, the ones that still rear their head in the same way that Caleb’s guilt still drags him down some days.

He tips, slides off of Fjord’s hips, tucks up against his side, an arm over his middle, a leg over his, presses another kiss to where Fjord’s heart beats, strong and steady. A hand curls over his hip, claws digging in enough to be known, and Caleb sighs quiet against Fjord’s chest, “This was worth all of it,” he tells Fjord’s skin, his heart, “You were worth all of it.”

Fjord doesn’t respond and that’s more than okay with him, it’s not about him right now. He lifts his head and Fjord is still awake, still watching him, just a sliver of gold visible. 

This time, he doesn’t look away, presses another kiss to Fjord’s chest, the pound of his heart, “Strong,” he says there, moves left to his sternum to kiss there, “Worthy.” Beneath him, Fjord quakes, a fine tremble through his body though the purring doesn’t cease, so neither does he.

He drops the next kiss to the left scar on Fjord’s chest, says, “Beautiful,” and watches the way Fjord clenches his eyes shut, but makes no move to push him away.

Another to his sternum, “Brave.”

Then the right scar, “Resilient.”

Fjord trembles again and Caleb braces himself as Fjord rolls them, the bulk of him pressing Caleb down into the bed. His face tucks into Caleb’s neck, tusks against his throat. 

Caleb hums softly, cards his fingers through Fjord’s hair, “Too much?” He asks, looping his other arm across Fjord’s back. He’s still purring, the rumbling now pressed directly into Caleb’s chest, and his ears aren’t pressed flat, both of which are good signs.

The head shake he gets in response makes him relax a little more, fully accepting Fjord’s weight and the fact that he might be here for a while. He’s more than okay with that and he scrapes his nails through Fjord’s shorn hair, “I promised I’d keep telling you all the reasons I fell in love with you.”

Fjord’s keen is half lost in Caleb’s throat and Caleb cups the back of his head gently.

Minutes slip away before Caleb feels it, Fjord’s jaw working, the way that says he’s gearing up to say something, but instead his tusks just press against the skin of his throat. Caleb curls his fingers, drags his nails gently over Fjord’s scalp, quiet assent that he’s okay.

There’s already a scar there where he’s settled himself at, a little bruised over, but Fjord doesn’t bite down, more just rests his mouth there, worries at it careful and easy with his tusks and teeth.

Like his worry stone is his own mark left on Caleb’s skin.

Caleb leaves him to it, pets a hand through his hair, down his back, and up again, dragging circles, until Fjord loosens and eventually relaxes more, longer still until Fjord’s breathing evens out, his purrs falling into a low subvocal rumble that rises and falls with each steady breath.

\-----

When Fjord wakes later, he’s not sure how long he’s been asleep, but the sheets are thrown over him and he’s fully wrapped himself around Caleb’s pillow. He stretches his feet towards the end of the bed, mashes his face into Caleb’s pillow and inhales deeply.

The cabin is quiet and still, but he knows that means Caleb is keeping quiet for his benefit.

He climbs off the bed and pads to the door, quiet as he pulls it open. His eyes find Caleb immediately and he stops in the door frame, watching him.

Across the room, Caleb is in the space that serves for a kitchen in the cabin. Really, it’s a basin and a small stretch of work space, and a small hearth. From his position, Fjord can’t see what exactly he’s doing, but what he can see is certainly enough for him.

It seems as though Caleb’s decided against nudity for now, though the shirt he’s wearing certainly isn’t his own. Fjord would bet coin it’s the one he’d been wearing yesterday, but it looks much better on Caleb, slipping off his left shoulder, hanging loose down to his thighs. This is the sort of thing they can’t do at the estate, when there’s a chance any of the others could pop in without notice.

(Caleb thinks it’d serve them right for not giving notice beforehand, but Fjord’s _mostly_ convinced him against it.)

“Enjoying the view?” 

The look Caleb sends him over his shoulder is coy and says that he knows exactly what he’s doing.

Fjord swallows and approaches him, “Very much,” he presses himself to Caleb’s back, slides an arm around his middle. When he hooks his chin over Caleb’s shoulder, he can see what he’s working on, cutting up the fruit they’d pick up yesterday at the market in Nicodranas, before they’d headed out to the cabin.

“Handsome,” Fjord says to the crown of his head, smiles when Caleb tips his head back. It’s a bit of a crane, but it’s worth it to slot his lips against Caleb’s for a chaste, easy kiss.

Caleb tips his focus back to the fruit in front of him and Fjord settles himself by tucking his face into Caleb’s hair, inhaling his scent, rubbing his hand in circles against Caleb’s belly. “You slept for a while, I was beginning to think I was going to have to wake you up.”

Fjord sucks his tongue, noses along Caleb’s neck, “Guess I needed it,” he feels well rested now, warm and happy and content, “M’all yours, whatever you’ve been thinking about doing in that big brain of yours.”

“Oh, ja,” Caleb places the knife off to the side and starts scooping the fruit into a bowl, holds up a strawberry piece with a gentle click of his tongue that Fjord happily takes with his teeth, “I was thinking we could go out to the beach, go for a swim.”

It takes a gentle elbow to the gut for him to back up, realize that Caleb’s got the bowl of fruit ready. “Are you planning on going naked again?” He asks, partially a tease, mostly genuine curiosity. He sinks into one of the chairs at the small table, watches Caleb sit in the other chair.

Caleb lifts his feet so Fjord lifts his arms, accepts Caleb’s legs into his lap, “As long as someone does not try to scare me this time,” he says, lips tilted in a teasing smirk, digs his toes into Fjord’s belly.

Fjord rumbles a laugh, “I won't, promise. I’ll be too busy enjoying the view.”

“And will you join me?” The question holds no weight, no expectation, the way that Caleb’s head tilts just a little, his smile small, an offer. 

Rubbing his jaw, he watches Caleb take a piece of melon from the bowl and pop it into his mouth, thinks about how sweet their kisses are going to be for a while after this fruit, bobs his head, “Sure, I’m amenable to that.” he snags another piece of strawberry.

The smile on Caleb’s face grows, “Gut, I look forward to enjoying my own view,” he drags his eyes purposefully down and then tilts his head back with a soft laugh when Fjord blushes hot and squirms in the chair.

“Incorrigible.”

“Handsome.”

Fjord hums, pressing his thumb into the arch of Caleb’s foot, “Flatterer.”

Caleb bats his eyelashes, “Is it working?”

“Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm @vowofenmity on twitter.


End file.
